Over the last week and a half, I've been house/cat - sitting for my grandfather while he is away visiting our southern kin. Usually, I love animals, yet as of just recently, I think I might actually hate them. My heart is not unlike others who ooh and aww when they see a pathetic feline begging for attention. However, if said cat has separation anxiety disorder, your empathy will steadily wan, followed by your normally humane inclination toward animals, followed by your conscience that keeps your barbaric instincts in check with your normally humane inclination toward animals.
Here is the Wikipedia entry on the disorder:
Separation anxiety disorder is a psychological condition in which an individual experiences excessive anxiety regarding separation from home or from people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment (like a father and mother). It becomes a disorder when the separation reaction becomes strong enough to impair people's ability to conduct their day to day lives and relationships.
My grandmother was the first bond to break for this cat. She loved having "Kitty" on her lap 24/7, and Kitty loved being there. Since grandma passed away, Kitty has only had the attention of my grandfather, who is only moderately affectionate toward her (for good reason), and that of the occasional drop-in friend or family member. And now that grandpa is on a furball-free vacation - broken bond number two - Kitty has entered into full-on disorder mode. Oh, happy day.
My official grievances against Kitty the cat:
1) Kitty must be touching me at all times
2) Kitty will only eat when I am near her food dish
3) Kitty sleeps all day when I'm gone
4) Kitty wants attention all night when I sleep
5) Kitty jostles the doorknob when I lock her out of my room at night
6) Kitty's meows sound like dying children
7) Kitty seems to be gifted with omniscience and omnipresence
8) Kitty is an evil manipulator
9) Kitty is merciless
10) Kitty is named Kitty
Since I am unable to function as a normal human being, I believe she is creating in me the converse disorder: Proximity Anxiety Disorder, which has entered me into an inescapable, demented yin and yang, cyclical, symbiotic love/hate relationship.
I'm like Harry Potter and Kitty is like Lord Voldemort.
The saga continues ...
5 comments:
haha! sorry tom. at least you have doors. one time, morgan had to cat-sit for a lady who removed all the doors in her apartment so the needy cats had easy access to everything. there was no escape.
Besides 2 and 10 - such were my grievances against Sam when living with him. Also, I had an apartment neighbor with a beagle who had separation anxiety. Barked the entirety of the time they were not home. No me gusta!
Funny, though!
LOL
I cat sat for a very similar feline, except for wanting to touch me all the time it hated me. I feel your pain friend. I'm sorry. :)
Blog about cats == increase in comments per post
Post a Comment